Ugly Office Sweaters

Here’s another lovely office holiday party. I get what the ladies are going for here, but what about the gentleman? He looks kind of awesomely retro - like a character in a community theater production of  The Crucible. I hate to lump him in with the “ugly”!

Kristi from Connecticut sends us this picture from her office’s holiday party. Now one young man in an ugly sweater might look goofy, but show us two handsome men and suddenly those sweaters are dashing. Am I right, ladies?

Our friend Thomas, from CityDictionary.com, is sporting a seriously festive Ugly Office Sweater. It’s got it all: ribbons, bows, kittens, trees & kittens.

My favorite thing about this picture is that Thomas’ co-worker, Colleen, has short sleeves on, so clearly this wasn’t taken in the middle of the holiday season. It’s Christmas in June! What a delightful concept.

Okay, I’m going to pretend this photo was just submitted and that I haven’t sat on it for 2 months…but seriously has your sweater gone away for the summer? Mine hasn’t! Overzealous air-conditioning keeps it hanging around. Summer office fashion staples include both sandals AND sweaters so there’s a decent chance Bob might keep his sweater at the ready for intemperate office climes.

While many of you, like the lovely couple pictured above, attended Ugly Sweater Parties this holiday season (oh, and by the way, please send us your photos!), just because the calendar has flipped to 2009 is no reason to abandon that festive spirit.

Most of us don’t have a paid holiday from now until Memorial Day. That’s an awful long time and all work and no play not only makes us dull, it makes us cranky. Ugly Office Sweater parties are a great and easy way to add a little fun into the office.

If you run into some HR trouble trying to organize your special day, why not just defy authority and go ahead and wear your ugliest sweater to work. To our knowledge, very few places of employment have dress codes that specifically prohibit ugly clothing.

Abbey’s adorable outfit above is making me rethink the whole Ugly Office Sweater thing. If you can find a great fall-to-winter jacket that looks that great with your work clothes, maybe you (gasp!) don’t need an Ugly Office Sweater.

Is that crazy talk? Have I been seduced yet again by something beautiful and green?

Despite the low-fashion clothing, we can still rock the high-fashion attitude.

My argyle sweater was deemed too fashionable at the Ugly Office Sweater Bar Crawl but I assure you the synthetic blend and gaudy gold buttons made it ugly. After doing some internet research I agree my argyle have been accidently on-trend. Or perhaps I have an intuitive fashion sense that is expressed through my St. Vinnie’s/Goodwill finds? That must be it.

Look at Kanye! Ok, admittedly that post is a year old but here in the wintry North of Madison, WI it takes a while for these trends to reach us. We’re far from the bleeding edge of fashion although it seems we catch on quicker when there’s winter wear involved.

I think the difference between a stylish argyle and mine is the quality of materials. Not that one has to follow in Kanye’s Louis Vuitton-clad footsteps: it’s just a matter of opting for natural materials rather than synthetics.  Here’s a nice look for men. Ladies will look lovely in this. The 3/4 length sleeves would be practical for one of those offices where workers do battle over the thermostat leaving cube dwellers to alternately sweat and shiver.

During the Ugly Office Sweater Bar Crawl, many of us modeled our Ugly Office Sweaters. No on, however, did a better job than Clyde up above. While your office certainly isn’t a catwalk, you’ve gotta love a garment that makes you feel so good.

Below, Kevin does a great job of manfully modeling another Ugly Office Sweater that really is, uh, ugly. I bet the beer helps!

Don’t forget, we want to see your Ugly Office Sweaters. Send us your pictures and sweater stories!

Thanks to everyone who attended Friday’s Ugly Office Sweater Bar Crawl. We had a great time, met some great people and wore some not-so-great sweaters. During the Crawl, our group put together a helpful glossary of common Ugly Office Sweaters terms that you’ll surely see in the months to come.

Argyle: A common pattern of Ugly Office Sweaters.
Bill Cosby Sweaters: ugly, expensive sweaters worn by rich men and football coaches.
Button Down: A large man’s button-down shirt is another Ugly Office “Sweater” option.
Cardigan: The most common form of Ugly Office Sweaters. Cardigans allow the wearer to still show the attractive outfit underneath.
Cashmere: This expensive fabric doesn’t seem cheap enough for Ugly Office Sweaters, but cashmere sweaters are generally of the timeless styles that are plain enough to work with most outfits.
Christmas: Inspired by embroidered visions of sugar plums and appliques of Mrs. Claus, Ugly Christmas Sweater parties are getting more and more popular. With this site, we hope to make Ugly Office Sweaters just as popular.
Donegal: Irish Donegal sweaters make great Ugly Office Sweaters because they’re oversized and usually come in neutrals like gray & tan.
Elastic Band: While many sweaters have elastic band bottoms, a truly ugly Ugly Office Sweater might have elastic banding on the sleeves. If you find one of these beauties, guard it with your life!
Fair Isle: Like argyle, Fair Isle sweaters are another common type of Ugly Office Sweaters.
Fishermen: Similar to Donegal sweaters, Fisherman sweaters are neutral-colored Irish sweaters that also make great Ugly Office Sweaters.
Flannel: In the grunge-infested 1990s, flannel shirts were commonly used by office workers instead of a traditional Ugly Office Sweater. If grunge ever comes back, look for this option to follow.
Fleece: Fleece jackets, often acquired as company swag, are a common alternative to Ugly Office Sweaters.
Goodwill: Goodwill Industries’ thrift stores are an excellent place to find your own Ugly Office Sweater.
Hoodie: Zip-up hoodie sweaters are quickly becoming one of the most popular types of Ugly Office Sweaters, especially among younger office workers.
Inside-Out: Accidentally wearing your Ugly Office Sweater inside out is a real danger that workers need to be aware of. Sometimes Ugly Office Sweaters are just so plain and boring that it’s hard to tell what side is what. However, you’re sure to feel a little embarassed when someone notices your oversized sweater’s XXXXL tag.
Jackets: Ugly Office Sweaters are meant as an indoor jacket replacement. Instead of wearing a wet, bulky winter jacket, you can safely put it in a closet and slip on your Ugly Office Sweater.
Jeweled: Although Ugly Office Sweaters don’t need to be ugly, they often are. Many times, their ugliness is enhanced with some “fabulous” jeweled accents.
Knit: The classic Ugly Office Sweater is a simply, large knit cardigan. You can’t go wrong with the classics.
Layering: As women pile on more and more layers as part of their everyday outfit, Ugly Office Sweaters have had to get bigger and bigger to fit underneath. The other danger with layering is that some people may mistakenly think that your Ugly Office Sweater is a real layer, rather than an office convenience.
Long: The best Ugly Office Sweaters are big enough to fit over layers and long enough to warm a lap. However, it’s best to make sure that your Ugly Office Sweater isn’t longer than your skirt. That’s just wrong.
Mr. Rodgers: Casual, mens’ cardigans that look like those slipped on by the famous television icon.
Ned Flanders: Green sweaters, like those worn by The Simpsons character, usually worn over a collared shirt.
Old: The most authentic Ugly Office Sweaters are old, either inherited from co-workers or purchased at thrift stores.
Poncho: The more ethnically inclined may choose to use one of these patterned ponchos (or serapes) as their Ugly Office Sweater.
Quilted: Light nylon quilted jackets are another Ugly Office Sweater option, generally appealing more to athletic types.
Raglan Sleeves: These type of sleeves (think baseball shirts) are popular in athletic wear and in knitting because they’re easy to move in and easy to sew. If you have a homemade Ugly Office Sweater, it’s likely it has raglan sleeves.
Shawl Collar: This turned-over collar is a very popular feature of Ugly Office Sweaters, possibly because it’s commonly found on mens’ sweaters.
St. Vincent de Paul: Like Goodwill, these thrift stores are great sources of cheap Ugly Office Sweaters.
Sweater coats: Full length sweater coats are big and comfortable enough to make great Ugly Office Sweaters.
The Office: Pam, from the television show “The Office” is one of the few fictional characters that is realistically shown with an Ugly Office Sweater.
Ugly: Ugly Office Sweaters don’t actually need to be ugly, they can be plain, blah or, in some extreme cases, even a little cute.
Underneath: where your attractive outfits hides when wearing an Ugly Office Sweater
V-Neck: If your Ugly Office Sweater isn’t a cardigan, a v-neck sweater is probably the next best choice as it allows maximum exposure of your cute outfit underneath.
Windbreaker: Light windbreakers are often used as Ugly Office Sweaters, even if, like Wisconsin football coach Bret Bielema, your “office” is actually a football field.
XXXL: The larger your Ugly Office Sweater, the more cute layers you can fit underneath and still be comfortable.
Yarn: While yarn is the major component of knit Ugly Office Sweaters, we prefer the definition of a yarn as a story. Every Ugly Office Sweater has a great story, spin the yarn of yours.
Zip Up: Zip-up hoodies and sweaters provide the same “cute outfit visibility” as cardigans.

Jamie (a co-worker of “our” Jamie) models one of her ponchos. “The Ponch” is the office fashion plate so of course she couldn’t have an ordinary office sweater. While non-traditional, the poncho is an excellent style for layering over your outfit.

Join in the fun! Submit your sweater or even share a co-worker’s fab threads with the rest of the world today!