Ugly Office Sweaters

During the Ugly Office Sweater Bar Crawl, many of us modeled our Ugly Office Sweaters. No on, however, did a better job than Clyde up above. While your office certainly isn’t a catwalk, you’ve gotta love a garment that makes you feel so good.

Below, Kevin does a great job of manfully modeling another Ugly Office Sweater that really is, uh, ugly. I bet the beer helps!

Don’t forget, we want to see your Ugly Office Sweaters. Send us your pictures and sweater stories!

Thanks to everyone who attended Friday’s Ugly Office Sweater Bar Crawl. We had a great time, met some great people and wore some not-so-great sweaters. During the Crawl, our group put together a helpful glossary of common Ugly Office Sweaters terms that you’ll surely see in the months to come.

Argyle: A common pattern of Ugly Office Sweaters.
Bill Cosby Sweaters: ugly, expensive sweaters worn by rich men and football coaches.
Button Down: A large man’s button-down shirt is another Ugly Office “Sweater” option.
Cardigan: The most common form of Ugly Office Sweaters. Cardigans allow the wearer to still show the attractive outfit underneath.
Cashmere: This expensive fabric doesn’t seem cheap enough for Ugly Office Sweaters, but cashmere sweaters are generally of the timeless styles that are plain enough to work with most outfits.
Christmas: Inspired by embroidered visions of sugar plums and appliques of Mrs. Claus, Ugly Christmas Sweater parties are getting more and more popular. With this site, we hope to make Ugly Office Sweaters just as popular.
Donegal: Irish Donegal sweaters make great Ugly Office Sweaters because they’re oversized and usually come in neutrals like gray & tan.
Elastic Band: While many sweaters have elastic band bottoms, a truly ugly Ugly Office Sweater might have elastic banding on the sleeves. If you find one of these beauties, guard it with your life!
Fair Isle: Like argyle, Fair Isle sweaters are another common type of Ugly Office Sweaters.
Fishermen: Similar to Donegal sweaters, Fisherman sweaters are neutral-colored Irish sweaters that also make great Ugly Office Sweaters.
Flannel: In the grunge-infested 1990s, flannel shirts were commonly used by office workers instead of a traditional Ugly Office Sweater. If grunge ever comes back, look for this option to follow.
Fleece: Fleece jackets, often acquired as company swag, are a common alternative to Ugly Office Sweaters.
Goodwill: Goodwill Industries’ thrift stores are an excellent place to find your own Ugly Office Sweater.
Hoodie: Zip-up hoodie sweaters are quickly becoming one of the most popular types of Ugly Office Sweaters, especially among younger office workers.
Inside-Out: Accidentally wearing your Ugly Office Sweater inside out is a real danger that workers need to be aware of. Sometimes Ugly Office Sweaters are just so plain and boring that it’s hard to tell what side is what. However, you’re sure to feel a little embarassed when someone notices your oversized sweater’s XXXXL tag.
Jackets: Ugly Office Sweaters are meant as an indoor jacket replacement. Instead of wearing a wet, bulky winter jacket, you can safely put it in a closet and slip on your Ugly Office Sweater.
Jeweled: Although Ugly Office Sweaters don’t need to be ugly, they often are. Many times, their ugliness is enhanced with some “fabulous” jeweled accents.
Knit: The classic Ugly Office Sweater is a simply, large knit cardigan. You can’t go wrong with the classics.
Layering: As women pile on more and more layers as part of their everyday outfit, Ugly Office Sweaters have had to get bigger and bigger to fit underneath. The other danger with layering is that some people may mistakenly think that your Ugly Office Sweater is a real layer, rather than an office convenience.
Long: The best Ugly Office Sweaters are big enough to fit over layers and long enough to warm a lap. However, it’s best to make sure that your Ugly Office Sweater isn’t longer than your skirt. That’s just wrong.
Mr. Rodgers: Casual, mens’ cardigans that look like those slipped on by the famous television icon.
Ned Flanders: Green sweaters, like those worn by The Simpsons character, usually worn over a collared shirt.
Old: The most authentic Ugly Office Sweaters are old, either inherited from co-workers or purchased at thrift stores.
Poncho: The more ethnically inclined may choose to use one of these patterned ponchos (or serapes) as their Ugly Office Sweater.
Quilted: Light nylon quilted jackets are another Ugly Office Sweater option, generally appealing more to athletic types.
Raglan Sleeves: These type of sleeves (think baseball shirts) are popular in athletic wear and in knitting because they’re easy to move in and easy to sew. If you have a homemade Ugly Office Sweater, it’s likely it has raglan sleeves.
Shawl Collar: This turned-over collar is a very popular feature of Ugly Office Sweaters, possibly because it’s commonly found on mens’ sweaters.
St. Vincent de Paul: Like Goodwill, these thrift stores are great sources of cheap Ugly Office Sweaters.
Sweater coats: Full length sweater coats are big and comfortable enough to make great Ugly Office Sweaters.
The Office: Pam, from the television show “The Office” is one of the few fictional characters that is realistically shown with an Ugly Office Sweater.
Ugly: Ugly Office Sweaters don’t actually need to be ugly, they can be plain, blah or, in some extreme cases, even a little cute.
Underneath: where your attractive outfits hides when wearing an Ugly Office Sweater
V-Neck: If your Ugly Office Sweater isn’t a cardigan, a v-neck sweater is probably the next best choice as it allows maximum exposure of your cute outfit underneath.
Windbreaker: Light windbreakers are often used as Ugly Office Sweaters, even if, like Wisconsin football coach Bret Bielema, your “office” is actually a football field.
XXXL: The larger your Ugly Office Sweater, the more cute layers you can fit underneath and still be comfortable.
Yarn: While yarn is the major component of knit Ugly Office Sweaters, we prefer the definition of a yarn as a story. Every Ugly Office Sweater has a great story, spin the yarn of yours.
Zip Up: Zip-up hoodies and sweaters provide the same “cute outfit visibility” as cardigans.

At first glance, it appears that “Pam” from “The Office” is simply wearing a cute outfit. However, upon further review it’s obvious that the makers of “The Office” have a real zest for authenticity. Check out the picture below, it’s the same sweater. “Pam” clearly just slips this sweater on over any ‘ole outfit. It’s her Ugly (The) Office Sweater!

We’re so excited for the first ever Ugly Office Sweaters Bar Crawl! The Bar Crawl will take place this Friday (October 10, 2008) in downtown Madison, Wisconsin. Anyone is welcome to attend. If you’re not in Madison, we hope you’ll consider hosting your own Ugly Office Sweaters Bar Crawl. This should be an international extravaganza, right?

Anyway, the idea of the Ugly Office Sweaters Bar Crawl is that you should wear an especially attractive outfit, but you should partially cover it up with your trusty Ugly Office Sweater. For those of you without Ugly Office Sweaters, this is also a great excuse to get one. I found some promising prospects at the St. Vincent de Paul’s on Willy St. today for both men and women and all for under $5. So, put on your threads and let the celebration begin!

The schedule for the Bar Crawl is:

5:30 Genna’s Lounge (note that Genna’s has a great happy hour until 6:30 that includes 40% off rails and select taps and free food).
6:30 Brocach
7:30 Local Tavern
8:30 The Old Fashioned
9:30 Great Dane (downtown)
After 10:30, we’ll let the party go where the Ugly Office Sweaters’ spirit moves us, but possible destinations include Natt Spil, Icon, Paul’s Club, Madisons, the Shamrock and Johnny O’s (for Brett ;-).

If you can’t make it for the beginning of the Bar Crawl, just refer to the schedule above and join the Ugly Office Sweater-clad set wherever we’ll be.

We hope to see you all out and about!

It looks like some people take those “take your child to work” days just a little too far… Also, this picture makes us wonder if there’s also an “ugly school sweater” subculture out there.

Jamie (a co-worker of “our” Jamie) models one of her ponchos. “The Ponch” is the office fashion plate so of course she couldn’t have an ordinary office sweater. While non-traditional, the poncho is an excellent style for layering over your outfit.

Join in the fun! Submit your sweater or even share a co-worker’s fab threads with the rest of the world today!

Jeff, in a photo submitted by one of his co-workers, is modeling the male version of the Ugly Office Sweater. What we love about this picture is how the Ugly Office Sweater, while keeping Jeff warm, completely undermines the image he’s going for, what with the jeans and Jimi Hendrix t-shirt. But such is the life of an Ugly Office Sweater wearer…

Lindsay does a great job modeling a variation of the Ugly Office Sweater that we completely forgot about - the fleece jacket. The fleece jacket pretty much provides the wearer with the same toasty benefits as a more traditional Ugly Office Sweater. What’s so great about the jacket is that you’re far more likely to, at some point in your working life, be given some fleecy company swag. It’s cost effective coziness!

We’re still looking for more sweater submissions. Just email us a picture of your Ugly Office Sweater and a few words about why it’s so awesome. Give your threads the 15 minutes of internet fame they so richly deserve!

Since we’re asking for your sweater submissions, Jamie, our lovely site designer and co-editor, thought she had better share her office sweater with you. It’s not so much ugly as it is plain. However its plainness is the very thing that makes it functional. It goes with most outfits. Even if it isn’t always a perfect match at least it doesn’t combine in a manner that makes anyone want to gouge their eyes out…at least she hopes not

So, now that we’ve taken the plunge, how about making a submission and sharing your own Ugly Office Sweaters?

A recent Today Show segment revealed that chilly offices are the #1 working conditions complaint. While that comes as no surprise to us here, what was enlightening was the fact that these cold temperatures lead not only to the adoption of Ugly Office Sweaters, but also lower employees’ productivity.

Wow. We always knew that Ugly Office Sweaters, no matter how necessary, ruin otherwise cute outfits. But, on the bright side, perhaps they’re responsible for saving the American economy. Think about it, workers constantly complain about cold offices. Cold offices can lower productivity. Yet, American workers still outpace the rest of the world when it comes to productivity. Could it be that the humble Ugly Office Sweater is what enables Americans to work harder and smarter than their counterparts around the globe? We sure think so!